Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize