Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
