I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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