I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
