Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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