Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So many bounce houses so little time
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
