eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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