ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
