who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
