i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
