At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
