she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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