And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
