apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
