it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize