I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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