I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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