You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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