I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
