Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
