i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize