I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
