my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
