Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
