Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
