Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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