so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
