Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
