dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
