UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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