Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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