Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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