Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
