I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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