This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I need water and some morals
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
