so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
