u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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