Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
