dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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