it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
