we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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