Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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