Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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