i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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