birth control should be required to get into college
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
