I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
