arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
