You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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