he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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