so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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