oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Panties = found
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
