Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
