Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize