i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
