i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
