he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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