I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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